A description of what it is like to be me. In my head...in my world...what I think...what I do...how i poo...but never why...and never about pie...

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

He called.

I had been sitting decorating ornaments (for xmas gifts) and getting really depressed about how I always seem to go after and fall in "like" with the ones who are unattainable. You know, the ones with girlfriends for 5+ years - completely hopeless, pointless men who obviously don't know what they want. Why is this? So I was feeling sorry for myself and pondering weather or not to attempt to pursue this endless chase (for me - and btw, why is it always me chasing-will it ever be the other way around?) and so I took a long hot shower and thought some more, getting all the while more and more fucked in the head about it all - why can't I find anyone, what is wrong with me - I'm never going to meet anyone - I'm always going to be alone... and so when i got out of the shower, I wrote the following question on the mirror: "What am I suppossed to do?" I was wishing I had the Book of Answers (this book at Metropolitan in the Highlands that gives you vague answers when you open it - kind of like a magic 8 ball but with thousands of possible solutions). Not 20 minutes went by and he called. Is this the answer I have been searching for all along? Only time will tell. But at least one thing is for sure. He's driven my attention away from the one who was making me depressed and given me a new (even if false) hope in possibility...

Monday, November 29, 2004

Words I enjoy

Here is a list of words that I like to hear and use whenever I can find a use for them:

Gallivanting, carousing, floozy, lollygagging, tomfoolery, hullabaloo, malarkey, uber, flogging, shenanigans, shank, nincompoop, blasphemy, shimmy, saucy, rigmarole, frugal, flim-flam, fondle, fancy pants, riff-raff, happy-go-lightly, jolly, swell, sconce, moist, squeegee, snazzy, plethora, shimmy, scoot, scurry, scamper, scuttle, sputter, splutter, gander, brew-ha-ha, fickle, unflappable, ransack, rummage, loot, booty, poppycock, high-fallooten, willy-nilly, unscrupulous, frolic, flabbergasted, charlatans, tricksters

Can u think of any more?

Friday, November 26, 2004

Waiting for Princess

I just spent the last 8 hours making a web site for a friend's band. I already had the look and MOST of the graphics finished, but I did have to remake the flash intro and alot of other things. I am WAY undercharging for this. I originally thought that I would make the graphics and hand over the photoshop files to the other guy he had working on the site and that this other guy would basically take care of everything else. Only the guy had no freaking clue about graphics AT ALL. SO basically I did the whole thing in about 16 hours total.

Check it out, let me know whatcha think, I need some validation!


The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, a dream and a phone call to an ex...

Monty Python & the Holy Grail might just be one of the greatest movies of all time. Everytime I think about it it cracks me up. Especially this particular scene:

[Holding the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch]
King Arthur: How does it... um... how does it work?
Lancelot: I know not, my liege.
King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments.
Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.
Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Brother Maynard: Amen.
All: Amen.
King Arthur: Right. One... two... five.
Galahad: Three, sir.
King Arthur: Three.

This was stolen from here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071853/quotes

(see I give credit where it is due)

Today is thanksgiving and I've already eaten twice. I can't wait to finish the first meal so I can digest and make my turkey sandwhich on white bread with tons of mayo, salt, pepper and lettuce. YUMMY in my ever growing TUMMY. At least I excercised this morning. Besides, Abraham Lincoln himself said: "It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues."


Oh yes, I remember what I originally wanted to write about. I woke up this morning, the wind was blowing strong outside and I had just had the most compelling dream. The significance felt so strong that it inspired me to act upon it. The last time I remeber waking up to the wind blowing in that manner, it was early on the morning of my last birthday. The wind actually woke me up, as if it was calling to me or trying to tell me something. Although at the time, since it had woken me up from a beautiful slumber, I was only trying to block it out. I tried putting the pillow over my head (could still hear it) I tried putting my headphones on (still it penetrated my ears) finally I made earplugs out of toilet paper combined with the pillow over the head and I was able to go back to sleep. But the ironic thing was this. After I looked it up in my "sign" book it told me that wind represents the universe or God or something spiritual trying to tell you something adn that you should listen to it. And all I was trying to do was make it go away. I wasn't receptive to it.
So the dream became more significant because of the blowing wind. Make sense?
So anyway, on with my saga...
The dream consisted of an ex boyfriend that I had not thought about consciously in God only knows how long. I know it has been 8yrs since I've laid eyes on the boy. He was my boyfriend from high school.
After I woke up, reflected on it a while, wrote about it my journal, volunteered, went for a walk, showered, got dressed and drove 20 minutes to my parents house, (deep breath, I point all these things out b/c at this point, I have had AMPLE time to reflect on the absurdity/reality/significance/silliness of it all. continue thought here...) I went downstairs in the basement, typed his name into yahoo's people search and lo and behold his address and phone number were staring back at me. I debated in my head weather or not to call him, why, what to say, what not to say, what to say, etc..
So I called.
I held my breath as I prayed for him to not answer so I could hear his voice and see if it was him or not. Thanks GOD! It was a machine....and it was him. As soon as it beeped, I hung up.

BUT then about 15 minutes later, I called back (holding breath, praying no one will answer b/c maybe last time he was monitoring and this time might decide to pick up-[ala Swingers]).
I think it went relatively well and I left my number so it is done.
If I never hear from him, I have lost nothing.
But, at least I won't be consumed with wondering if I should or shouldn't have called.
What is that other quote? Something about no one ever regrets the things they DID do, just the things they didn't? Something like that anyways. Gosh I am, really diggin on the quotes tonite! Strange.

Happy Turkey Day.
Gobble Gobble.

Friday, November 19, 2004

Am I superficial?

I don't see myself as a superficial person. But I do believe that first impressions are huge. I realize that after you get to know someone better, they can become a beautiful person, no matter what they look like, and also that beautiful people, can turn out to be so ugly on the inside once you get to know them. However, I am on match.com and I will receive emails every so often and the very 1st thing i do is look at their photos. If they are cute - (which they rarely are) then I read their profile and if we have a few things in common that I can relate too, I will email them back. BUT if they are ugly, I read their profile anyways and even if they sound like the perfect match, I never email them. Am I superficial I ask you?

We are all guilty of it I am sure of it. C'mon girls, the first time you meet some one you know weather or not you want to sleep with them or not with in the first 5 minutes - sometimes less time.

Monday, November 15, 2004

What poo feels like

I feel like poo today. I woke up at 5:30 coughing, wheezing and blowing my nose until it has become raw (even with charmin). I am scheduled to see an allergist on Thursday so in the meantime I am not allowed to take any antihistamine's - o joy. I even feel nautious and have puked twice already this morning. I'm not sure what it was I puked the first time. It looked like it had red and green peppers - but I haven't eaten anything with red anda green peppers. The only thing I ate yesterday was a baked potato with some cooked ground pork and a can of green beans. I wonder why I feel this way. To top it off I have a meeting at 10, my car broke down yesterday and if I can somehow get it fixed for cheap and back to me, I can drop off the rental before 1 and avoid and extra $36 but I also have to be in court at noon! STRESS~

Friday, November 12, 2004

Simple Plan made me feel old

So I went to the Masquerade last nite to see this band I like called Simple Plan. The problem is that I was about twice the age of most of the fans and at least 6 yrs older than the oldest guy in the band, who by the way, none of which were cute, or maybe they were too young for me to even consider. I saw 14 year olds singing along to songs I loved. Ugh. Note to self...never go to an all ages show ever again. What made it sink in even worse was that I retreated to the bar in back to relieve myself with a beer, and felt better standing back there when my friend turns to me and says, ya know, we are standing back here with all the parents... I flipped out b/c that is where I felt comfortable?! I had to get out of there. I was not there for 3 minutes and wondered if they would give me my money back. I haven't felt that out of place, or out of my element ever.
What made it even worse, was when the guitarist said he was going to play some "classic" rock and busted out with the opening rifff to Sweet Child O Mine. I almost had a heart attack.

To top it off, I have only $7 left in my bank account. WHERE DID ALL MY MONEY GO??!!
I woke up at 4 am to my friend D IN my apt. Apparently she had been knocking for quite some time, but when I am sleeping, I am officially OUT. Well I kind of freaked out to someone knocking on my bedroom door and waking me out of a dead sleep. FIrst of all, I don't knnow who it is, secondly, I am naked, so I need to put clothes on ASAP so I can answer and thirdly, I for some reason thought it was my neighbor waking me up b/c I had slept too late. It was startling to say the least. Then I realized I only had 2 hrs left of precious sleep time in which I tossed in turned until my alarm went off and tried to sleep later, but I was half conscious the whole time.

Ugh. Happy Friday Everyone.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Incoherent Ramblings of an over caffinated morning...

When I woke up this morning I had a strange thought that my heating unit was pumping out oxy-cotton into my atmosphere and that this was the reason that it had become increasing more difficult to get out of bed since I had been turning the heat on. Now, i don't really know what oxy cotton does or even how you "do" it but I do know that it suppossedly makes people lack drive or will to do much of anything from watching various new specials on it. Why did this thought seep into my little brain? Maybe they were talking about it on 92.9 dave fm this morning when my radio alarm went off. Anyways, I was too friggin tired that I decided it would be a good idea to pop 2 diet pills and now I am shaking. I am sure the coffee it going to help.

I've decided that I like being alone, except for the whole lack of getting laid part. If I could somehow figure out a way to have mind blowing sex without all the time consuming boyfriend part, that would be wonderful. Any suggestions? B.O.B. isn't even that impressive anymore. He just doesn't excite me like he used to. But at least if I want it to be over, I can just flip the switch and toss him aside.

Ahhh, the life of a single woman in Atlanta. 9 guys to every 1 gal and 8 of 'em are gay. sweet.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004


Dear Mother Fucker in your too much money havin, little cock drivin, pretentious bitch SUV, Lexus, BMW, ESCALADE, NAVIGATOR, etc...

Please kindly get the fuck off my road. You drive like a complete asshole. Let me enlighten you on a few rules to road ettiquette as you clearly have never been taught them.

Scenerio #1: There is a car in the middle lane going significantly slower than all of traffic around. Yes, he is the moron, however, it does not mean that if you ride his ass 3 inches from his bumper he will miraculously find his gas pedal. This is only going to cause an accident, in which case I no longer think it should be called an "accident", but an instigated wreck.

Scenario #2: I am merging onto the highway. YOU are in the far right lane that I WILL be coming into. You see me, I know you do b/c you have now decided to speed up so that I cannot get onto your road? Let me tell you something, I AM coming onto your road and you need to be aware of this and get over into one of the many other 5 lanes available so that I may safely enter the highway without having to force you into the other lane.

Let me preface this one with this: I drive a 4 cylinder big 'ol jeep that goes fast on the downhill and slow on the uphill. I cannot help it, that's how it drives.
Scenario#3: I am in the fast lane trying to pass someone and I am on the down hill but there is an uphill approaching rapidly. I KNOW that I must get over as soon as I pass pokey to allow speedy "small cock" porche behind me b/c he is about to become my own personal enema if I don't. As soon as I have passed pokey and have given a sufficient amount of room so that I can get over in his lane without cutting him off, impatient little dicked porshe guy passes me on the right!

Okay, I'm finished venting now.
Gotta get to wizzork.

Monday, November 08, 2004

Drinking is fun!

So last nite I was informed by a friend that I was giving everyone at the bar Mexican names on Sat nite. I can’t say that I recall that moment, but maybe I’d rather not remember. Apparently I had more than 1 red bull & vodka (like 3 or 4 I was told) – in addition to the 37 glasses of wine from earlier. Who let me drink that many?! Honestly! Strange b/c I had no hangover whatsoever either. I do remember giving this guy shit about not remembering my name. Apparently I was really givin it to him good. I think I just liked yelling at him. I really wish I could remember giving out the mexican names, b/c according to my friends, it was all pretty hilarious. You know how sometimes u wake up the next morning(afternoon) and your head is throbbing and you just have this horrible feeling that something very not good was said or done by you the nite before and you really don't want to know what it was, but inevitably you find out and your worst fears are confirmed. Well, this was nothing like that. I woke up and the only regretable feeling I had was that I had given my # out to some guy I was apparently talking to for quite some time and who knows what we talked about. Oh yeah and when I stumbled thru my door at 3:17 am, I decided to put in my latest netflix Smallville dvd and make a pizza - I recall having enough foresight to force myself to sit up while the pizza was cooking so that I didn't fall asleep and burn my apt to the ground. When I woke up, I discovered pizza sauce on my blanket I had been sleeping with. Gross, but I started cracking up. I think the red bull helped me to be semi-conscious enough to make myself eat and drink water and take advil before passing out. Interesting how I can always manage to be able to remove my contacts from my eyeballs without seriously injuring myself, but I can't manage to eat pizza without getting it everywhere!

Wednesday, November 03, 2004



Which rock star are u the most attracted to?

Butch Walker
Axl Rose
Lenny Kravitz
Gavin Rossdale
Scott Weiland
Jon Bon Jovi
Douglas Robb
Kid Rock
Justin Timberlake

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Erection Day 2004

Oops! I meant "Election" day, (u can tell where my mind resides) but anyways... I may be one of the few, the proud, the lucky that voted today who didn't have to stand in line at all. I waltzed right up to my poll no waiting. That's right, I "WALTZED" - sure I could have galloped or galivanted, but it really stands out if you twirl a few times as you enter a building. In fact, I think everyone should twirl and dance more often as they enter their place of business, home, or friends house. It's especially exciting to moonwalk into or out of a bar. Any Micheal Jackson move will do however. Grabbing your crotch and using your highest most sopranic voice possible proclaim: "eeeeee heeeeeee, oooow!" Then maybe do a few spins. This is guaranteed to turn a few heads, then while you have everyone's attention (including the bartender) you can order you & your friends drinks without having to stand behind some huge freakin guy with more hair spewing out of the top of his shirt then remains on his shiny head. Unfortunately it is also reflecting all the mood lighting onto your face that just happens to accentuate that damn zit that decided to wait until you were in your late 20's to emerge. So you naturally drink more than expected on a Tuesday nite go to sleep just long enough to slip into REM before the alarm clock goes off.

What a tangent!