A description of what it is like to be me. In my head...in my world...what I think...what I do...how i poo...but never why...and never about pie...

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Burrito Lady

"Well I was sittin at home, wishin I had me a burrito. A burrito would be oh so sweet right now. So I said to my friend, I got to see her again, I got to get me a burrito. He said man I understand its not about the meal it's about how ya feel, I said, Hey, hey, Hey, Burrito lady, ya drive me crazy, burrito lady... Yeah she knows me well and I can always tell that she got what I need, there's only one thing, for me to say, I gotta get back, to Chee-pote-lay...I said, Hey, hey, Hey, Burrito lady, ya drive me crazy, burrito lady..."

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Sweater Rocket

My friend Kate submitted a word to the urbandictionary.com and is featured on Sully's podcast yesterday. Awesome.

Click here to listen.


I totally stole this from my friend Dan at The Imbiber.Net but since I am giving him recognition and props, I think it is okay. I highly suggest you go check out his site and register and read it often - he is almost as hilarious as I am and he knows way more about all types of alcohol than you could ever care to know.

This one is me...
ARIES (Mar 21- Apr 19)

Drinking style: Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don't know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you -- so long as you haven't gone and done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Gemini

TAURUS (Apr 20 - May 20)
Drinking style: Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who spills red wine on white carpets and tells jokes to employers, the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say that the Bull is by any means a teetotaler -- god, no. A squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loudmouth soup, some would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.

GEMINI (May 21 - Jun 21)
Drinking style: Gemini's can drink without changing their behavior much-- they're so naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard to tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion, then doing something unbelievable in a n extremely advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Gemini's possess the magic ability to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is very tricky) with several people at once. They like to order different cocktails every round -- repetition is boring -- and may create a theme (like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for their own amusement.

CANCER (Jun 22 - Jul 22)
Drinking style: Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or an after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and insinuating themselves on VIP lists -- and, in true Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get "tired and emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated). But there's nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. Even your second-favorite Cancer will do. The sign also rules the flavor vanilla, and you'd be adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and soda.

LEO (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
Drinking style: Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're darling - Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue -- and perhaps not with the one who brought them. But Leo's not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expect a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the next day

VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
Drinking style: Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their bender. Their famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other signs, sure -- but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully shellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the intellect, but there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when walloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one Virgo friend used to declare, "I'm going tonight." A toast to the subgenius to drink myself into a low level of intelligence

LIBRA (Sept 23 - Oct 23)
Drinking style: "I'm just a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's just that I'm so damn social." Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Friend device set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really work a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which can get them into all sorts of trouble -- including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in the evening, flirting with their best friend's beau or even blacking out the night's events entirely. Oops!

SCORPIO (Oct 24 - Nov 21)
Drinking style: Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them see the sauce as something to savor in itself, and not as a personality-altering tool - though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally, they're fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything -- especially what you did when you were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Drinking style: In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: When buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own. Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?). They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a playground, or Cancun. Good-natured hi-jinks are sure to ensue

CAPRICORN (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
Drinking style: Capricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast, money-hungry and status-thirsty -- no wonder they get left off the astrological cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star: independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to please. And if they make money being themselves, who are you to quibble? But just like most rock stars, they're either totally on or totally off, and they generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after party, especially if they can hook up with a cute groupie.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
Drinking style: Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well (except for water, that is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an idea while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a stone. If they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however, they're too preoccupied with their duties to get combative and they make perfectly charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're usually capital drink-nursers. They also make the best designated drivers (if you can get them before they start raising their wrist) Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and capable of holding interesting conversations with soused strangers while sober

PISCES (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
Drinking style: If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a sign and an addictive personality -- with Liz Taylor, LizaMinelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty tolerance fast. Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other hand, they're fabulously enchanting partners, whether in conversation or in crime. With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of margaritas and wind up in bed together for days. The phrase "addictive personality" can be read two ways you know.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Plasma & Phlebotomy

A phlebotomist is an individual trained to draw blood, either for laboratory tests or for blood donations. Source: Wikipedia

So I have been trying to donate plasma as a means to some income – I used to do it in Colorado all the time and so when I found out that they offer compensation for it here, I was in. But there were some complications with my asthma and had to go back a few times. So tomorrow will be the third time. So anyways, there is this creepy security guard who works there. At first, I thought he was nice, and he is, I suppose, but something about him just gives me the
hee bee gee bees. He’s a little “too” helpful, and I can tell what he’s thinking just by the way he looks and smiles at me. He hasn’t specifically said or done anything inappropriate, but I have a sort of sense about people. And my alarm is throwing up red flags all over this guy. I just realized that he probably has access to my address and all my information. Geez. That is no bueno.


So I made it through and donated 825 cc's of plasma today. I was at about 780 when I started feeling nauseous, and then tingly, and then the room started feeling weird, or my body did...they put an ice pack under my neck, put an alcohol swab under my nose, elevated my feet, and gave me some water, stopped the machine, put some more anticoagulant in the transfer, and I was fine within 5 minutes. Not scary, just felt like when they give you the laughing gas in the dentist chair, but not good fuzzy, bad druggie sick fuzzy.
But, All is well. $25 for my torment. Friday I'll get $40. Sweet. Money for nothin, and my chicks for free?

I also made $25 rolling dimes, nickels and pennies I've been collecting in a jar.
So, I will have made $90 this week for doing almost nothing... And last week, I deposited almost $1000 in checks - one from my previous apartment security deposit and 2 from work I had forgotten to cash in. That reminds me, I should have 1 more from my restaurant. Sweet.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Nashville. Week One.

Tonight will be the 7th night I've spent in Nashville. It has been exactly one week since I've arrived and I've written 3 articles for the Examiner, been on an art crawl on bicycles (the bicycles were our idea, the art crawl is planned by the city), walked up and down the Cumberland River and all over Broadway and 2nd, checked out the ginormous library, found St. Patricks Church, started teaching myself how to play Ukalele, seen Blitzen Trapper, Melissa Mathes, and 6 other bands (read my articles online for more info on them) and bought a myself my very first pair of privos (got a KILLER deal too. Only paid $27. I rock.). And tomorrow I am going to the Grand Ol Oprey to be in a Dierks Bentley video. He's hot. Maybe he'll ask me out. That would be awesome.