A description of what it is like to be me. In my head...in my world...what I think...what I do...how i poo...but never why...and never about pie...

Monday, March 28, 2005

I am the moth.

Sometimes I feel like I am the moth.

Wanna listen?

Some quotes that have recently meant alot to me...

You can have it all. You just can't have it all at onetime.

One thing happy people know is that they don't get tobe happy all the time. They can appreciate the moments, the little victories, the small miracles, andthe relationships with one another.

Life is what happens while you are busy making otherplans.- John Lennon

Learn 2 pause...or nothing worthwhile will catch up toyou.Everything works out in the end. If it hasn't workedout yet, it's not the end.

Tomorrow hopes that we have learned something fromyesterday.

WISDOM:Understand and accept that life's gretest purpose canbe found in relationships.Be a model- sometimes that's all you can do.If you have learned something from every experience-there should be no regrets.It's not the hand you are dealt that counts...but howyou play it.

Be calm, smile and listen.
Sometimes silence can be more powerful than words.
"Be" the breath of fresh air.

Ain't nuthin like some travelin to alter your perspective...sure is good to be back home again in georgia!

Since the TWO people who read this have recently given me shit about not blogging lately, I am going to try and make a valiant effort to blog more often. HAPPY MS & SF??!!! :)

The main reason I haven't blogged lately is b/c I have been dealing with my car accident dealio for almost 2 months now. Here's where I am now. The jeep is in fine condition, running like a champ, and I am looking for a good home for her. Any buyers out there? I also recently purchased a BMW and am absolutely LOVING it. I never really saw myself as a BMW type person b/c it seems like it so pretentious. But since I'm not, who cares! It is super sweet to have a vehicle that doesn't leak on my left toe every time it rains, whose passenger door opens from not only the inside, but the outside as well (a novel idea!) and a vehicle that doesn't suck gas like a 2 dollar whore. However, I do miss being up above everyone and eye level with the truckers while I barrel down the road intimidating miata's that try to get over without looking first. (insert evil laughter here)

Oh yes, and I recently returned from a fabulous trip to Colorado to shred up the mtn and to visit ol chums. I spent 2 fantastic (and too short) days on Vail. It was grand. My first run was a black diamond (single black diamond, got a take it easy u know) called First Step. I plummeted off the main trail and headed stright for the fresh pow in the trees screaming "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" all the way down all day long until my legs felt like wet noodles, then 3 o'clock rolls around when it is time to get a good seat at the bar before the lifts close. I saddled up to the Red Lion in Vail Village and prceeded to consume one after another of New Belgium's finest 1554 black ale. Yummm, I sure wish I had more now.
So lets see, 4 or 5 beers combined with thin air, a fantastic long hard day of snowboarding, 3 or 4 shots of jager and a pu-tang shot bought by the friendly bartender from Boston (NOT jersey like I called him all nite...oops! He liked the attention.) - not to mention his cute roomate I was flirting with (named TIM no less...p.s. tim = ex), and lets not forget ...um....what was his name? Well, whoever, the german boy who kept asking us to save him from the "octupus" girl who wouldn't keep her hands off him, until we finally drug him out of the bar to another favorite spot, the tap room where he taught me how to say mean things in german. DU BE LUGST MISH! FIC TISH! Okay, I have no idea how to spell that correctly, but I know what it means and I know how to pronounce it. Watch out Germany!
Oh and I almost forgot about Hot Carl! Well, his name was Carl, but I of course was calling him "hot carl" all nite...not to mention the next morning.....when I saw him walk out of my friends room! What were YOU thinking? What kind of girl do u think I am?! ;)

Saturday morning came 'round (luckily I was still programmed on east coast time) and I awoke at 7 am MST, shuffled around till I had some coffee, watched a little MotorMouth, and finally got dressed for my 2nd and final day of my short snowboarding season '05. I was determined to find the park and go off some jumps. The day promised to be beautiful, sunny, 40 degree spring "skiing" LOVIN IT! Hot Carl gave me a ride to the mtn and I spent the whole entire day riding in the park..going over the hits lowly at first, then getting bigger and mroe air each time, finally by the end of the day I was landing every jump superbly, catching 5 feet of air and having the time of my life. Nince inch nails, red hot chili peppers and u2 kept me soaring as I sped towards the next jump with a look of determination and excitement and overall JOY at being where I was and doing so well! Too bad no one I knew was around to take a video, that would have been nice...next year perhaps..
Man oh man, just thinking about it now takes me back! Oh if only I had a dolorian!

However, even tho I do miss the mtns, I was incredibly happy to be back home in my little city of Atlanta. I DO NOT miss FOrt Collins AT ALL. It's a nice little town, but even spending 3 days there makes me appreciate and love that I don't live there anymore. Althought the $6.75 pitchers were nice...and all the yummy microbrews...not to mention the sweet leaf aroma in the air ;)
I did get to spend some quality time with my cousin and learned a few things about my family I never knew....always nice to get the family gossip!

There is something so nice and freeing about being out of town that makes you so much more open to new experiences, confident in who u truly are and in general just puts a nice new perspective on life. Combined with beer, it will apparently also make you get up and sing karoke....

I will tell u that when I arrived on Thursday, march 17th, I was devastated, hurt, confused, natious, upset and just in a bad place b/c of some events that had happened the previous nite (ala Jerry Springer) but after my trip I feel revjuvinated and slightly renewed. It is good to be back home in Atlanta where I love my job, my friends and my family...who let me sit on the internet plunking away while I eat their food and use their laundry detergent... Gotta love family!

Friday, March 11, 2005


A couple of things...
First of all, I woke up at 3am Wednesday morning with an inflamed uvula. (see pic) I could barely breathe and I was sure that if I fell asleep I would choke to death in my sleep. I could nbarely swallow! I actually think I woke myself up b/c I was having breathing trouble. It was terrible!

>>FF to Thursday morning: I get up to feed Bubba the Fish and I gasped a little when i looked in his bowl - I thought he was floating. But no, it was not him who was floating...it was an uninvited visitor! (see pic) EEEEWWWWW!!!!!!

Freakin out yo.

Fortunately there were no unpleasant surprises this morning. We'll see how the weekend goes it... ciao~

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Work Poop

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all been working in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below.As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.


When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.


The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.


A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen.
If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.


When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.


The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water.This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.


Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.


A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.


A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.


A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex.This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.


Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.


A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.


A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.


A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water.This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.


A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire. You can also use that moment to noisily procure a handful of toilet paper.


A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot.An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees

and I added one that I thought needed to be mentioned....

I got a new one, what about the "Squelcher". That is when you are in the midst of releasing the prisoners and someone comes in so you have to quickly activate a squelching action so as to not let on to the person who has entered the bathroom what it is you are doing. This then becomes quite painful as you have to suspend all "activity" until the turd-burglar has left the room. This is even worse when the turd-burglar is combined with an Uncle Ted" Then as soon as they leave you have a Havana Omelet and the relief is spectacular!