A description of what it is like to be me. In my head...in my world...what I think...what I do...how i poo...but never why...and never about pie...

Tuesday, November 22, 2005


What the hell is this MySpace thing for us civilians? I mean, I get why bands are into it - and I think its a viable resourcce for bands to use to get their name out and their music heard, but for the random yahoo who just wants to post their picture and see how many "friends" they can acquire? Puh-leez!
For instance, take my friend Mark.
He sends me an email THRU MySpace that he is moving. He doesn't send it to my ACTUAL email, or call. I mean c'mon brutha! I heard from Eric that you were moving anyways, but PUH-LEEZ! Why you can't email me to my email address, like you don't know it or sumpthin? Like you don't have my phone number, like you don't know how to text a sista? Like we only communicate thru MySpace? Do you KNOW how often I check MySpace? Like almost never. The ONLY time I get on is if i get a request to be added to someone's "elite" group of friends. Ooooooooooooo can I PLEASE be your stupid friend? Who the hell are you? Does anyone else get those random emails from some dude in africa or india who wants to be your friend because you are soo beautiful? - and the english is always all broken, mispelled and hard to read like this:

halo. my nam is achmedilatillione and i think u like the same things i like. u r soo beutiful. maybe some times u like to chat with me. ok i will not bother you no more.
hope to hear from u.

by the way - in my head his name is pronoucned like this: (AK-med-a-TILL-EE-own) but who the hell knows what goes on in my head...

Ok, I actually made that last one up, but here is an ACTUAL email sent to me last wednesday from this guy:

Hello Dear,

I feel much gratitude to drop mail to you and ask you How you are, hope you are doing well, good, anyway my mail to you might sound so some how to you, but i Would love you to understand it as a matured woman You are,really i can tell you through your picture i picturized, you really look good to me and meanwhile i Was very pleased, confidence in having such a woman Like you beside my life, but only if you would'nt mind, Again, i would also let you to understand that this world Is a global place in which any body can find his nor her Lover from any part of the world despise the race nor Age, more so, age has nothing to contribute in relationship and it was just a number,so what matters Alot in every relationship is, trust, love, interest, and understanding, so dear i would like to interchange email With you so we can proceed gradually for future if you Would'nt mind, though am from africa, but take a note That we came from does not matter,meanwhile we were Created with same God, deffinitely we are one no matter the colour, so this is my email,
jerry_boyfriend@yahoo.co.uk or jerry_boyfriend@hotmail.com
Thanks, looking forward to hear from you as well,

What the hell is this guy thinkin?
Why is he emailing me?
I honestly don't even know what he is saying to me the english is so broken and confusing. I mean, he is already assuming he is my boyfriend, did you see his email address? That's quite and ASSumption, u know?
What, I'm gonna move to Senegal to be with you so we can live happily ever after and our 15 children can run around with bones in their noses and earlobe holes so large you can pass a cantalope thru them with out touching the sides?? I think not.
Silly Negro...

Friday, November 18, 2005

Cold Gas

What's the deal with pumping gas when its cold? I went to the QT on the way in to work this morning and out of 12 pumps, there is ONE opening. Hooray! (I think) So I pull in, line myself up real nice, get all my change ready so I can go in and purchase a tasty caffinated beverage for my ride in (should I get french vanilla? mix it up with some hot chocolate? ooooo maybe they have that steamed flavored milk I can add to it...or maybe they have some fun holiday flavors like pumpkin spice or gingerbread like star-chucks...) so I get out and slide my little card in the slot, go thru all the appropriate actions and stick the nozzle into the hole to ejaculate the low-grade, 87, $2 and 8 cent per gallon into my fuel sucking transport. Ya know that little thingy you can flip down so it pumps automatically? Well, that little shit wouldn't stick. Everytime I would squeeze the handle, the damn handle snapped back, I did this like 10-15 times before I got all pissed off. The damn machine pumped 59 cents, stopped. Then I had to re-swipe, it pumped $2 and 37 cents, stopped and thats when I peeled out of my space to find a new one, of which there wasn't, of course. I ended up having to back into a space, probably cutting someone off that had been waiting, but DAMNIT, I earned that friggin spot!! So I re-swipe, AGAIN, and this time, it works. I storm inside and tell the canadian gas station attendant, in a very firm tone, & with much reservation how he might want to disable the faulty pump becuase it is malfunctioning. The canadian is sympathetic to my needs, and I try to contain my anger for I know it is not his fault. I go over to the coffee bar and make my specialized concoction, then go to stand in line at his register. He apologized for my inconvienence and I got a free cup of coffee too!

Now I am just looking forward to tonight's Butch Walker show! Yipee!!!!!!!!!!

I love Butch!


Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Does anyone remember the TI 99 4A?

I have been traveling back in time for the past couple of days. I went to my parents house and found this:

This is a sweet system, eh?
This was my first computer. I remember sitting there typing out all this junk like

100 FOR N=1 to 8
110 CALL HCHAR(N,1,24+N*8,32)
120 NEXT N
130 FOR N=1 TO 16
150 FOR DELAY=1 TO 300
180 NEXT N
190 END

and all this would change the foreground and background color.
...and it was the coolest thing EVER....in 1982 that is!

I also found a bunch of journals that included everything I had done that day down to the outfit I had on WITH shoes, the outfits my friends had on, the song that was playing on the way to the mall (because when I was 14 and 15 that's the only place me and my friends went to) - we would hang out, go to TILT - the video game store, then to Spencers Gifts and look at stuff, then to Turtles to look at CD's, then hang out in the food court, then go to the pay phones to call someone(yeah thats right, PRE-cell phone days), I found other stuff I kept up with like yearbooks from 5th & 6th grade, songs lyrics I had written out,

But as I stumbled upoon this gem from high school, my jaw dropped to the floor when I realzed what it was exactly. It was a list. Made in my senior year at some point before I turned 18. Are you ready for this? The list was of all the boys I had ever kissed or made out with and I put little stars next to the ones I had slept with!
When I realized exactly what it was, I kept saying, OMG, OMG, NO WAY.
Now don't think I was a dirty little hooker or anything - there were only like 2 people with stars by their names. But the reason I can pinpoint WHEN I had made the list is because I know one of the names on the list who doesn't have a star next to him, should; so the list would have had to been made before that star was "earned" so to speak.

It's funny what we keep, what we remember, who we don't.
Friends Forever,
Lylas, (Love ya like a sis)
I'll never forget you
Get Laid this summer
Party your ass off this summer, I know you will
C U Next Tuesday!

I can't remember MOST of those people. Sad isn't it?
But then again, I only knew them from 1st grade - 7th (1980-1987) and then never saw most of them ever again because we moved from Indiana to Georgia in 1988.

I will have to add some of my yearbook exerpts and photos to this entry to document this time period in my life. I will do this sometime this week.
For now, I am off to make crazy wild monkey love with my boyfriend -