A description of what it is like to be me. In my head...in my world...what I think...what I do...how i poo...but never why...and never about pie...

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

He called.

I had been sitting decorating ornaments (for xmas gifts) and getting really depressed about how I always seem to go after and fall in "like" with the ones who are unattainable. You know, the ones with girlfriends for 5+ years - completely hopeless, pointless men who obviously don't know what they want. Why is this? So I was feeling sorry for myself and pondering weather or not to attempt to pursue this endless chase (for me - and btw, why is it always me chasing-will it ever be the other way around?) and so I took a long hot shower and thought some more, getting all the while more and more fucked in the head about it all - why can't I find anyone, what is wrong with me - I'm never going to meet anyone - I'm always going to be alone... and so when i got out of the shower, I wrote the following question on the mirror: "What am I suppossed to do?" I was wishing I had the Book of Answers (this book at Metropolitan in the Highlands that gives you vague answers when you open it - kind of like a magic 8 ball but with thousands of possible solutions). Not 20 minutes went by and he called. Is this the answer I have been searching for all along? Only time will tell. But at least one thing is for sure. He's driven my attention away from the one who was making me depressed and given me a new (even if false) hope in possibility...


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