Barney Beagle

Dang.
So I went on an impromptu date with this guy who was sitting at the bar where I work. I noticed him toward the end of the evening (we were slammed busy) and thought to myself, 'oh, he's kinda hot!' So I said something to the girl who was bartending and she said he was "annoying". I said, oh, too bad. Then I asked "why?" She said he talked to much. I deduced that she was annoyed by his talking b/c he was trying to close the bar and get her sidework done and get outta there. Fair enough.
Well, as the night progressed, her & I had a pretty funny banter going on where I was just giving her a hard time and we were just laughing and having fun. I noticed he was eating it all up and kind of a little bit staring at me, as I was him, sort of. So I ended up talking to him while I was doing my sidework (polishing wine glasses and such) this went on for 10 or 15 minutes. He asked me to go to the Braves game with him the next night. I was scheduled to work, however, I kind of did want to go (I hadn't been to a Braves game yet this year!) but I also didn't know anything about this guy and had only talked to him briefly. He seemed like a nice enough fella, but still..there are a lot of idiots that come in. I still wasn't convinced yet.
So I took his # and told him I needed to marinate on the idea and would call or text him to let him know.
I got someone to cover my shift, and decided, what the hell, I haven't been on a "date" (if that is what this was going to be) in FOREVER. Like, at least 3 or 4 years. Seriously. It's annoying.
But I digress...

next day...

I text him and tell him I am in, if he still is.
He texts me back and says he will call.
He calls.
We set up time/place to meet.

I go to meet him at the hotel he is staying at (Ritz Carlton downtown).
He meets me outside at the valet and tell me he is glad I decided to come with him to the game. He was going to go by himself anyways.
We go inside the hotel lobby and have a drink while we talk and start to get acquainted. The car service will be picking us up at 7 to take us to the game.
(I am beginning to be impressed at this point)
Fancy hummer car service to the game, VIP drop off, enter the gates, finding seats...WOW. 4th row behind the Braves dugout. SHAZAM!
I am throughly impressed now. He told me he even thought to try and get seats out of the direct sunlight (we are in Atlanta and it is HOT still at 7:30 on an early September evening).

I slightly become a Japanese tourist and start taking photos. I can't help myself, when I love something, I want to photograph it.

We have a great time at the game. Talking, laughing, and the Braves won so, that's always a plus.
Now the game is over. And I don't want this evening to end, because truth be told, I'm not sure I've ever been on a date this great. Here I am with a very good looking man, who has a decent enough job to where he's not struggling, he's making me laugh (and I him, I think), he's doting on me (no one dotes on me), and all I can think of is 'DAMN! why do u have to live all the way in Virginia?!?!?!'

Alas, sadly, he does.
And he went back today.
He did stop in and say bye, which I thought was sweet of him to bother. But it also made me a little sad, because if he had been more of an asshole/jerk, then it's easier to write off. But he doesn't seem to be. He seems to be a really great guy. And all I keep singing for the rest of the day in my head is Alanis Morissette's 'Isn't it Ironic' song; particularly the lyric that goes: "It's like meeting the man of my dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife..."

Go fucking figure.
Of course.
Just my luck.
Great.
Awesome.
FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC.

So that's it. He said goodbye, it doesn't appear that he is a regular visitor to my fine city and who knows when he will return. If ever, and if so, will he even bother to try and find me? Did he experience any of the same short-lived joy and happiness that I did? Or was this just a fun baseball game with some one he happened to meet while here?
Then my mind starts going AWOL...is he married? girlfriend? I have no idea. We didn't talk about any of that stuff. and honestly, I don't want to know if ther is any of those factors, it would just break my heart even more.

Dang. Why and how do I fall so hard & fast over seemingly nothing? I am actually affected to the point of sadness. I mean, I'm not moping around deliriously diluted about him, but I am disappointed that we can't have a second date, and a third, and a fourth...etc...

(sigh)

I guess only time will tell. One of my philosophies that I've lived by since I was 18 is "everything happens for a reason" and "if it's meant to be, it will be" and my favorite "everything works out in the end...if it hasn't worked out yet, it's not the end"

I want and hope he thinks about me and decides to try and stay in touch, and reaches out to call me or something.
Ya never know, right?
But then there's that word..."hope"
Hope can be a dangerous thing. It can allow you to hold onto something that you should let go, or should have let go a long time ago. I've been there before too. But how do you know when hope is good or bad for you to have?
I don't want to be one of these people who are all closed off and not open to possibility! But I also don't want to be someone who holds on to a sliver of nothing because I perceive it to be more than what it was or is.

So now what?

I guess I just hope and pray that God has something awesome waiting for me...whoever or wherever that may be.

I feel like Barney Beagle in the children's book waiting patiently for his boy to come and rescue him from the pet shop window, Every day he waited and wished for someone to choose him. People would stop and look at him in the window, and he would always ask himself, "Is this my boy? Is this the boy for me?" But the shoppers would always choose someone else.
All the other pets are being chosen & given homes & loved. I am still waiting for my boy to come, but when will he?

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

I wonder what makes people think it's okay to cancel plans at the last minute? Here's the rub, I made definitive plans with someone, got out of my shift at work to attend this event, and 30 minutes before it starts, I am told that they already had plans with someone else and that they have to cancel. Great. Thanks. I possible could have asked someone else to attend this event with me had I ample notice. What exactly is it about me and my personality/character that makes you think it is perfectly acceptable to flake out at the last minute? This isn't the 1st time either. Lesson: never make plans with this person ever again? How can I let this person know in a positive way that they are continuously hurting my feelings, disappointing me, & pissing me off simultaneously? I have refrained from going off on a verbally abusive belittling rampage like I initially wanted to, because as we all know, it will do no good in the end and actually would probably cause some serious damage to our relationship. So I ask you, world wide webbernet, with all your tubes & wires & such...WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Pancake Pantry ; Nashville is OVERRATED.

In Nashville, in Hillsboro Village on 21st Avenue, people stand outside the Pancake Pantry in a line that wraps around the building everyday for hours to eat at this place.

So today, I had a little time to kill, and I decided to see what all the fuss is about. I still have no idea. Sure, there are 23 different kinds of pancakes. But really, are you charging me $8-$12 bucks for a little batter & some syrup? And seriously $3 for a small plate of mushy potatoes with absolutely no seasoning of any kind and you call these hashbrowns the "best in Nashville"? Well Nashville, your palatte sucks, just like your musical taste.

Testing....

1, 2, 3...

Texting While Driving - Georgia Law

So, there is this new law in Georgia that states:

"No person shall operate a motor vehicle on any public road or highway of this state while using a wireless telecommunications device to write, send, or read any text based communication, including but not limited to a text message, instant message, electronic mail, or Internet data."

But I think there are some obvious holes in this...

Don't get me wrong, I agree that texting and driving is dangerous and since most people can't drive well in sunny dry conditions; except for me of course; it is a smart law to make since people obviously need guidance & direction from the government that tells them how to live safely in society.

So, I have a few questions...
1) If I am stopped at a red light, not driving, not actually "operating" the motor vehicle in question, and I send or read a text, am I violating this law?

2) There are a lot of people who rely on their GPS device to guide them to their destination because they are either directionally challenged, or in a unfamiliar town. This device is usually mounted (insert Bevis & Butthead laugh here) somewhere in the car. I, however, use my google maps app on my blackberry device, also a GPS, so if I am looking at it to guide me, am I in violation of the law? And if so, how come the people who look away from their driving to watch their GPS are NOT in violation and I am?
Doesn't seem to gel with me.

So there it is. Thoughts?

FOOTNOTE:

"Governor Perdue has signed two new distracted driving bills into law, Senate Bill 360 and House Bill 23."

What about mothers distracted by their children in the car? Have you ever ridden in a car fpr more than 15 minutes with 3 children of any age? It can be torture...

My song?

Wow! So this guy Scott Simons, who I met a few months ago at 3rd & Lindsley in Nashville after Bleu performed his amazing tricks and songs, started this thing called "Wednesday Wallbombing" on his facebook page. He randomly picks a "fan" and writes an original song and about them based on their facebook profile and posts it on you tube and guess who was randomly picked yesterday? That's right, yours truly! Here it is! I like it, it's catchy, and, well, who wouldn't want a song written about them? It's actually been a secret wish of mine for a long time...

Everybody's Guilty Baby!

I am sitting at Ugly Mugs in East Nashville and the dude singing right now is named "Jameson" - why must you taunt me so you delicious golden cocktail?!

But ohhhhh, how I love the sound of a violin!

My eyeballs hurt.

Been chatting w/ my cousin and an old co-worker at the same time I develop our project X. Gonna keep it a secret for now, but it is GOOD!

Today I  found out that I am now working with a kid that went to Peachtree Jr High the same time I was there. Like, we probably passed each other in the hall. He also dated this girl Ansley Hines who I do remember vividly, and I don't remember many people vividly from 8th grade! We both went to school with Ryan Seacrest?! Too funny!

I am reading a book called "Write it Down, Make it Happen" and I've been writing stuff down a lot lately. Today in particular I was visualizing things I never thought possible before, but now they've come into a certain light that gives me hope. It might be false hope though and I don't know if it is healthy or harmful to visualize and imagine and hope and want this thing I am thinking about. On one hand, the book says to visualize what you want. On the other hand, I know that I cannot control what happens and I do not want to try & control it, but I also cannot help to think that the possibility is improbable and I don't want to get my hopes up for someone who doesn't want the same thing I do. So how do I know if it is healthy or harmful? I want it & him, yes and I think it would make me so happy to be with this person, however would I be enough for him? I truly only want him to be happy, I also truly believe he is not currently. Do any of us ever know what we want, or what we need, or what is right for us?
I know I am being totally vague, but I have to in order to protect myself, the innocent and the guilty.And everybody's guilty baby...

AND I JUST heard someone say his name! They said "bye" to the dude who is working here right now and I had no idea that was his name, even tho -OMG-  someone just said the girl version of his name.....this is gettting weird.... AND earlier today I was thinking about him & I looked & saw his last name on the side of a building! What does it all mean? Nothing?! I truly believe in signs from the Universe or God or whatever, and they are THERE if we just stop & look & listen for them....What are they telling me tho?!

Collection of Bullshit

After a conversation I had today, I realized that everyone collects something. Some people collect stamps (boooorrrrrrring), some collect 70's fashion magazines, some collect elephant figurines, rooster stuff, cow stuff, leopard print, or some animal paraphernalia or another. My mom collects unique and interesting salt & pepper shakers making it easy to buy her a souvenir from whatever exotic corner of the world I am in (and by exotic I mean Colorado, Vegas, or Santa Cruz).
So from this conversation, I started thinking, what (besides cat hair on my clothes and in the corners of my living room) do I collect?
I still haven't come up with any answers, and this was a few hours ago.

When I was 13-15 I collected every single article and interview and photo of Guns-n-Roses that my meager allowance would afford me. In fact, my primary motivation for getting a job at 13 was most likely so that I could buy more magazines & tapes (yes, tapes). I still have them all too. They are in a blue & white plastic bag which is falling apart that was the carrier for one of the many magazines I purchased, and it is a stack about a foot high. Some of the magazines are even perfectly intact, like the Guns-n-Roses full color spectacular, an entire magazine of only photos of Axl, Slash, Duff, Izzy & Steven (pre-celebrity rehab of course, oh poor Steven...). My obsession with this band went so far that for my 8th grade art project at Peachtree Jr. High (yes, I went to school with Ryan Seacrest, he was in 9th grade and had no idea I existed, but I remembered thinking he was cute when I was 13) I carved a linoleum portrait of Axl standing to the side, holding the microphone, and made prints from it. I remember it vividly. I also somehow obtained tapes of a live concert from their show at Castle Donnington in NYC circa 1988, interviews with Slash & Axl, and some rare bootlegs of November Rain, including an acoustic version of the song, a rough copy of the one we all know and love, and a beautiful full instrumental version lasting around 12 minutes. I still have these tapes, tucked safely away in a shoebox. I also at one time had all 6 of their posters that were available at Spencer's Gifts at every shopping mall across America. Until my mother made me throw them out, but instead of throwing them out, I thought I would be clever & give them to my friend Mary to keep for me in her closet. However, when I asked for them back a few years later when I knew it was probably safe, she had thrown them out! THE NERVE! I do really wish I still had these posters tho :( it did make me quite upset when I found out she didn't truly hold them for me..

Where was I going with this narrative?
Ah yes, collectibles....

Do any of my readers (assuming I have any of course) collect things? And what do you collect?

My friend Kat Smo wrote a song called Collection of Hearts. One of the lyrics goes like this: "I've got a collection of hearts in a drawer, all dusted, forgotten, don't know what they're for. No don't take it personal, cuz I surely didn't..."

The song is catchy, right? The lyrics are great, mean I suppose, but I just love the imagery I get when I think of a collection of hearts in a drawer.. Actually, it reminds me of my friend Alex Rodriguez, she used to get so many phone numbers from guys, and she would just throw them in a shoebox she kept in her room, and whenever she felt unwanted, unappreciated, lonely, or sad, she would go through her box and be reminded of all the cute eligible boys out there. She never called any of them, she just kept a collection of #'s.. funny.

I don't collect hearts, numbers, or magazines anymore. Should I collect something?
Maybe I collect spices, because I love to cook. Or perhaps I collect experiences, traveling to Colorado next week to snowboard, driving up to Indiana to visit with family last Easter, taking an unplanned trip to Key West with my friend Beau before he quit his job at Delta (shakes fist angrily in air at all the lost trips we could've taken!), moving to Nashville to pursue a career in music?

Or is collecting things unhealthy. like holding onto some material thing that may give us some sort of happiness & joy for the present being, but what do you really have but a pile of papers (ie: stamps, magazines. etc) to & lug from place to place every time you move? Do you look through these magazines or stamps on a regular basis? What do you do with each & every animal figurine you own? Does anyone have any thoughts on this subject? I would love to hear your comments!

The End. Sort of...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Warning....small tangent.....
I think some people collect thier own thoughts, conversations, and words.
For instance...
Some people are so self involved that they never truly listen to you. For instance, I was trying to tell this regular at my bar a story, and we were interrupted several times by various other staff members, which happens, but I kept trying to continue my story, but he would start talking and asking questions to the other person about a whole different topic and then he'd get up and go outside to smoke! I finally gave up trying to tell him anything, and he NEVER came back and said, what were you trying to say? Just didn't care what-so-ever. Why do I bother?
And then I was having lunch with a friend and I was trying to tell her a story, but every time I started the story she kept on talking to the bartender! And I said, "listen!" and she said "I am! I can multi-task!" BULLSHIT! You CANNOT listen and TALK at the same fucking time. It's rude and unacceptable.
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Ok, I'm finished venting, I was just completely inspired by this little tirade and had to write about it. Thanks for bearing with me... please leave me comments! Thanks!

Sincerely,
Blue

Could this be a song?

This umbrella's seen better days...
My heart's been trapped in a purple haze....
My mind wanders around this town..
Wondering what's next and am I gonna fall down...

'Rain is comin', that's what she said..
Before she stepped on that pedal with her foot of lead..
Headed toward that green highway
With her head full of dreams and her heart full of red

I'm just a broken umbrella, walkin in the rain
When the sun comes out, I'll feel less insane
Mom says hold your chin high babe, and don't you cry
The price is high for the freedom train

~~~~~~~~~~~

Not sure where to go next with this, but, anyone have any comments?

Burrito Lady

"Well I was sittin at home, wishin I had me a burrito. A burrito would be oh so sweet right now. So I said to my friend, I got to see her again, I got to get me a burrito. He said man I understand its not about the meal it's about how ya feel, I said, Hey, hey, Hey, Burrito lady, ya drive me crazy, burrito lady... Yeah she knows me well and I can always tell that she got what I need, there's only one thing, for me to say, I gotta get back, to Chee-pote-lay...I said, Hey, hey, Hey, Burrito lady, ya drive me crazy, burrito lady..."