A description of what it is like to be me. In my head...in my world...what I think...what I do...how i poo...but never why...and never about pie...

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Everybody's Guilty Baby!

I am sitting at Ugly Mugs in East Nashville and the dude singing right now is named "Jameson" - why must you taunt me so you delicious golden cocktail?!

But ohhhhh, how I love the sound of a violin!

My eyeballs hurt.

Been chatting w/ my cousin and an old co-worker at the same time I develop our project X. Gonna keep it a secret for now, but it is GOOD!

Today I  found out that I am now working with a kid that went to Peachtree Jr High the same time I was there. Like, we probably passed each other in the hall. He also dated this girl Ansley Hines who I do remember vividly, and I don't remember many people vividly from 8th grade! We both went to school with Ryan Seacrest?! Too funny!

I am reading a book called "Write it Down, Make it Happen" and I've been writing stuff down a lot lately. Today in particular I was visualizing things I never thought possible before, but now they've come into a certain light that gives me hope. It might be false hope though and I don't know if it is healthy or harmful to visualize and imagine and hope and want this thing I am thinking about. On one hand, the book says to visualize what you want. On the other hand, I know that I cannot control what happens and I do not want to try & control it, but I also cannot help to think that the possibility is improbable and I don't want to get my hopes up for someone who doesn't want the same thing I do. So how do I know if it is healthy or harmful? I want it & him, yes and I think it would make me so happy to be with this person, however would I be enough for him? I truly only want him to be happy, I also truly believe he is not currently. Do any of us ever know what we want, or what we need, or what is right for us?
I know I am being totally vague, but I have to in order to protect myself, the innocent and the guilty.And everybody's guilty baby...

AND I JUST heard someone say his name! They said "bye" to the dude who is working here right now and I had no idea that was his name, even tho -OMG-  someone just said the girl version of his name.....this is gettting weird.... AND earlier today I was thinking about him & I looked & saw his last name on the side of a building! What does it all mean? Nothing?! I truly believe in signs from the Universe or God or whatever, and they are THERE if we just stop & look & listen for them....What are they telling me tho?!