Collection of Bullshit
After a conversation I had today, I realized that everyone collects something. Some people collect stamps (boooorrrrrrring), some collect 70's fashion magazines, some collect elephant figurines, rooster stuff, cow stuff, leopard print, or some animal paraphernalia or another. My mom collects unique and interesting salt & pepper shakers making it easy to buy her a souvenir from whatever exotic corner of the world I am in (and by exotic I mean Colorado, Vegas, or Santa Cruz).
So from this conversation, I started thinking, what (besides cat hair on my clothes and in the corners of my living room) do I collect?
I still haven't come up with any answers, and this was a few hours ago.
When I was 13-15 I collected every single article and interview and photo of Guns-n-Roses that my meager allowance would afford me. In fact, my primary motivation for getting a job at 13 was most likely so that I could buy more magazines & tapes (yes, tapes). I still have them all too. They are in a blue & white plastic bag which is falling apart that was the carrier for one of the many magazines I purchased, and it is a stack about a foot high. Some of the magazines are even perfectly intact, like the Guns-n-Roses full color spectacular, an entire magazine of only photos of Axl, Slash, Duff, Izzy & Steven (pre-celebrity rehab of course, oh poor Steven...). My obsession with this band went so far that for my 8th grade art project at Peachtree Jr. High (yes, I went to school with Ryan Seacrest, he was in 9th grade and had no idea I existed, but I remembered thinking he was cute when I was 13) I carved a linoleum portrait of Axl standing to the side, holding the microphone, and made prints from it. I remember it vividly. I also somehow obtained tapes of a live concert from their show at Castle Donnington in NYC circa 1988, interviews with Slash & Axl, and some rare bootlegs of November Rain, including an acoustic version of the song, a rough copy of the one we all know and love, and a beautiful full instrumental version lasting around 12 minutes. I still have these tapes, tucked safely away in a shoebox. I also at one time had all 6 of their posters that were available at Spencer's Gifts at every shopping mall across America. Until my mother made me throw them out, but instead of throwing them out, I thought I would be clever & give them to my friend Mary to keep for me in her closet. However, when I asked for them back a few years later when I knew it was probably safe, she had thrown them out! THE NERVE! I do really wish I still had these posters tho :( it did make me quite upset when I found out she didn't truly hold them for me..
Where was I going with this narrative?
Ah yes, collectibles....
Do any of my readers (assuming I have any of course) collect things? And what do you collect?
My friend Kat Smo wrote a song called Collection of Hearts. One of the lyrics goes like this: "I've got a collection of hearts in a drawer, all dusted, forgotten, don't know what they're for. No don't take it personal, cuz I surely didn't..."
The song is catchy, right? The lyrics are great, mean I suppose, but I just love the imagery I get when I think of a collection of hearts in a drawer.. Actually, it reminds me of my friend Alex Rodriguez, she used to get so many phone numbers from guys, and she would just throw them in a shoebox she kept in her room, and whenever she felt unwanted, unappreciated, lonely, or sad, she would go through her box and be reminded of all the cute eligible boys out there. She never called any of them, she just kept a collection of #'s.. funny.
I don't collect hearts, numbers, or magazines anymore. Should I collect something?
Maybe I collect spices, because I love to cook. Or perhaps I collect experiences, traveling to Colorado next week to snowboard, driving up to Indiana to visit with family last Easter, taking an unplanned trip to Key West with my friend Beau before he quit his job at Delta (shakes fist angrily in air at all the lost trips we could've taken!), moving to Nashville to pursue a career in music?
Or is collecting things unhealthy. like holding onto some material thing that may give us some sort of happiness & joy for the present being, but what do you really have but a pile of papers (ie: stamps, magazines. etc) to & lug from place to place every time you move? Do you look through these magazines or stamps on a regular basis? What do you do with each & every animal figurine you own? Does anyone have any thoughts on this subject? I would love to hear your comments!
The End. Sort of...
I think some people collect thier own thoughts, conversations, and words.
Some people are so self involved that they never truly listen to you. For instance, I was trying to tell this regular at my bar a story, and we were interrupted several times by various other staff members, which happens, but I kept trying to continue my story, but he would start talking and asking questions to the other person about a whole different topic and then he'd get up and go outside to smoke! I finally gave up trying to tell him anything, and he NEVER came back and said, what were you trying to say? Just didn't care what-so-ever. Why do I bother?
And then I was having lunch with a friend and I was trying to tell her a story, but every time I started the story she kept on talking to the bartender! And I said, "listen!" and she said "I am! I can multi-task!" BULLSHIT! You CANNOT listen and TALK at the same fucking time. It's rude and unacceptable.
Ok, I'm finished venting, I was just completely inspired by this little tirade and had to write about it. Thanks for bearing with me... please leave me comments! Thanks!