A description of what it is like to be me. In my head...in my world...what I think...what I do...how i poo...but never why...and never about pie...

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Confusion!

Many of you have sent me comments or told me how you felt in person about my last blog and I have been meaning to re-blog about it. You see, I was very frustrated and upset when I wrote that and just started going off about every little thing that pissed me off about him. However, what none of you could know, is how sweet and caring and nice he can be too. In fact, this is what drew me to him in the 1st place. He opens my door for me EVERY SINGLE TIME I get in the car, or go into a building. He tells me how much he likes spending time with me and how he knows he can be a pain in the ass, and thanks for putting up with him. He tells me how he worries about me, worries for my safety and how he really cares about me. So in his defense, he is actually quite sweet. But now I am faced with another challenge. He is very unhappy here in Atlanta. He doesn't like where he lives (understandably...he lives in the Mattress Factory Lofts off of MLK blvd and there are just a bunch of 18 yr old idiots running around, skate boarding down the hallway, pissing in the hallway, the other night, he came home to a nice chunky puke in the hallway. yummy. Anyways, he doesn't like where he lives, and he isn't making it in his career of choice, which, as can I fully understand, can be extremely frustrating, especially when you spend so much time and effort and passion devoted to one thing that fuels you. So , long story short - his other passion is to become a fishing boat captain. So he is more likely than not, moving to Sarasota, FL when his lease is up. UNLESS by some miracle the John Pence Gallery gives him his own solo show, in which that may possible launch his career. But it looks like he will be moving. Where does that leave me you ask? Well, I don't know. I went through something similar as this when I decided to leave Tim in Colorado. The ONLY thing that was keeping me in Fort Collins, was him - and eventually, I can to resent him for it. I know for a fact I would have been gone sooner if he hadn't of broken his femur that day at Keystone, but he did, and being the good girlfriend, I took care of him, drove him around, and stayed put, while miserable and poor, but felt obligated to care for my broken boyfriend. So I don't want him to stay in Atlanta - only because of me - which he has said, is the only reason he is still here and hasn't took off yet. I don't want him to go, b/c I do like him alot, I like hanging out with him, and everything, but I don't want to hold him back either. He is still in a process and I don't want to be the one to hinder that. I am very confused right now. More later...

1 Comments:

Blogger rusty said...

I actually considered the Matress Factory Lofts when I was shopping for apartments. Everything I've heard since has made me glad I didn't though.

9:54 AM

 

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