Guarded

Sometimes I wonder if I will be able to let anyone in past this certain point. I don't know if I can. I can feel this blanket of non-intimacy protecting me and I don't want to let it go because it is safe here and comfortable and warm and guarded. I like it. It's like my own electric blanket of safety and un-brokenheartedness. Maybe if I just don't think about it, the blanket will slowly wither away without me even knowing it...kinda like how spring melts into summer. It starts out a bit chilly and you're wearing jeans and maybe a light jacket, then slowly, you remove the jacket, and before you know it, you're galivanting around in your skivvies! Stay tuned for more confusion and bewilderment....These are the days of my life.....
:)