A moment in time...

I just got back from having lunch with RAS.
You all remember him, right? (See blogs dated older than September 2005...)
How could you forget...
How could I?

It was really nice actually.
I don't know if it was a great idea and I don't really feel the need to share it with anyone, but I need to get it out of my head so here I am writing about it now.

With the benefit of hindsight, it was probably not a good idea...
I feel really weird right now.
He's kind of like a drug I think.
Once I get a little dose, I want more.
As bad as I know it is for me and how destructive it is to me or those around me, that doesn't change the fact that I want to know the next time I get to partake in such guilty pleasure. Why is this?

I guess he wanted to take me out for my birthday. A far cry from what he did for me last year, which was, in fact, nothing at all. Didn't even call last year. This year, he shows up 2 days in a row. Oh yes, apparently he came by yesterday, but since I wasn't at my desk he didn't stop or call or anything. Nancy saw him tho. Of course she didn't tell me until today. What's strange is this: Yesterday, I happened to wear the dress that he picked out for me the night my BMW got killed by the stupid ass non-insured style taxi driver. I haven't worn that dress since that day, and I decided for no real good reason to wear it yesterday. And I decided to send him a text after work just saying "How are you doing? Everything ok? Just checking up on you"
He didn't respond until he called today asking me out to lunch. And for no real good reason, I accepted. It was actually really nice to see him. It just brings up feelings of sadness. His baby is due May 21st. A boy. Miles Hellstein. What a hellish name, hellstein. Poor kid. He seemed sad when we said goodbye...
Poor kid...

It was just a moment in time is all...