A description of what it is like to be me. In my head...in my world...what I think...what I do...how i poo...but never why...and never about pie...

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Jump around, Jump around, Jump up, Jump up and get down!


I've been in a funk lately. I can't describe to you why, I can just tell you, that lately, everything and everyone irritates me and I just want to be left alone. Children irritate me, people who talk about their children/animals what-have-you non stop irritate the shit out of me. I don't give 2 shits what your stupid kid drew, said or did this past weekend that was just sooooooo damn cute.
I DON'T CARE.
I DON'T CARE.
I DON'T CARE.

KA-PEESH?

It's not that I necessarily have anything particular to be unhappy about. I have a good job that I love, a great family, I am for the first time not living pay check to paycheck (stil not saving MUCH, but it's a start..), I live in a great neighborhood and have a great roomate, but there is just something missing.....

I watched the season finale to Grey's Anatomy last night (one of my favorite shows of all time) and it made me soooo happy what happened between Grey and McDreamy in last night's episode. It gave me hope, even tho, it cannot end well. But to even have THAT for a little while....I want THAT. I don't know if I am capable of having that with anyone but a certain someone and it makes me sad b/c of the choices he has made and where he is at right now b/c of those choices. But as I just stated, they were HIS CHOICES and I need to keep reminding myself of that, or I am doomed forever to misery...
I think I am one of those women who will never have children. I just don't see it happening for me. The only only way I wouold want kids is if I married the perfect guy who would be my best friend and the whole package. Otherwise - I don't want any part of that whole scene. And since I don't see me ending up with anyone in particular, I just don't think I ever will. I am not trying to see the glass have empty - I am just being a realist, that's all. On the other hand of this, I am so sick and tired of being separated just b/c I am not married or have kids or whatever. As if there is something wrong with me b/c I haven't settled for anyone? Sorry, I'd rather be single and miserable than living with someone who makes me miserable.
Fuck married people.
Especially since their always trying to recruit you to the dark side. Why aren't you married yet? Oh I don't know, I guess I have the singles plague or something must be really fucked up with me. Thanks for pointing out the most obvious failure in my life! Now let's talk about your life - what's the one thing you don't want to talk about in social situations? Perhaps marriage trouble? Maybe your spouse is cheating on you - that sounds like a fun topic! Anyone die recently you want to re-hash old painful memories?

I got up this morning at the ass crack of dawn (that's right at about 5:30am) forced myself out of bed, threw on some outfit and left by 5:55 just to avoid the sea of morons and assholes I sit in traffic with on a daily basis. I am tired as shit - but it only took me the expected 35 minutes to get here from driveway to parking space instead of the friggin 1 hr and 20 minutes ++++ it has been taking me if I leave anytime after 7am, but oh how I do enjoy my sleep....

1 Comments:

Anonymous EJ said...

OK, it sounds like we need to meet for a cocktail and bitch together. You are so right about the married thing. Couples just want us "singletons" to get married, so they have someone to be miserable with. Look at it this way, we don't have to wake up next anyone with bad breath, we can snore all we want, we don't have to have small talk in the mornings, we don't have to do anyones laundry ( mainly guys underwear w/ skidmarks), and we don't have to cook. (well you like that) whatever! i'm glad to be a "SINGLETON" and i say it loud and proud!!!!

6:25 PM

 

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