A description of what it is like to be me. In my head...in my world...what I think...what I do...how i poo...but never why...and never about pie...

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

504-460-9805 STUPID FUCKER

Last night I found out the true power of pussy.

I came home last nite around 11:30 and after 6 captain and cokes and a walk home from the bar, I had dozed off around 12-ish or so....

Dead asleep....
out cold...
a capt n coke induced sleep...
gone to the world...
I do not awaken easily from this....

2:30 am
I kept tossing & turning and in the state of mind somewhere between sleep, dream and reality of surroundings I kept imagining that someone was trying to get in the house because I thought I had heard a knocking type of sound. I would become slightly concious and then attribute it to my cats trying to get out of my room or something like that and quickly return to beautiful sleepland USA.
Until the heart-stopping pounding noise awoken me for real.
Now let me preface this by explaining the layout of our apartment and how far my bedroom is from the front door. In a shotgun type style I am the 3rd room from the door. (see image)

I opened my bedroom door just as he is pounding the loudest and hardest to then seeing my roomate opening the door to the screened in porch to temporary neighbor (and temporary, DEFINITELY NOW FORMER) hookup Mike from downstairs.
"Drunk again, and looking to score" as Offspring so eloquently stated in the early to mid 90's.
My roomate (God love her) begin handing him his ass on a platter with extra fries and special sauce.

I am standing in the doorway to my bedroom with a look of disgust & disbelief on my face.

I slam my door shut...wait till I hear her slam the door to the front porch until I emerge again. APPARENTLY he had been calling her phone psychotically and obsessively over & over & over since 1am and pounding on her door and the wall beside it for at least 30 minutes. And this is the SECOND time he has done this. He already was told once how upset she was the first time and how she has to get up at 5:30 am and teach 1st graders ALL DAY LONG. How he is jeapordizing her career and on and on with the stuff most people know better about.

So she gets rid of his stupid drunk ass and we both try & go back to sleep. I don't know about you, but after being awoken like that, it was hard to lie back down. Especailly since the alcohol had worn off (damn!) :)
My mind begins racing...
"I'm going to get his # from my roomate tomorrow morning and call his ass incessentaly all morning from 6am on and wake his ass up....u dont wake ME up....fucker....now my damn cats are fighting cuz they think its time to get up for the day....stupid fucker....oh i know what i'm gonna do...i'll post his phone # on my blog and write about it and let anyone who reads it call him and tell him what an ass he is too....yes...excellent....am i evil? yes i am....u dont fuck with me and my sleep!"



Preface it with a *67 so it blocks your phone # from showing up on his caller id.
His name is Mike.
Call him early and often.

peace out bitches!


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