A description of what it is like to be me. In my head...in my world...what I think...what I do...how i poo...but never why...and never about pie...

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

What's wrong with me?

Are my standards too high? Is that possible? I will never settle, but I see myslef as a walking Seinfeld episodfe, constantly discecting every man that comes into my life. They say Love is Blind, but I think sometimes Like can be blind too...

I am no longer interested in Mr. BB. He is, well shall I say immature? At 40 yrs old, you would THINK that he would be a grown boy by now. Not so much. Example: We are driving down the road in my jeep and he sees a pro Bush sign in someone's yard and he proceeds to YELL out of my open top car "FUCK YOU" while raising a fist with fully extended finger.(I am sure you can guess which one) May I ask you what the hell is the point in that? Ok, you don't like Bush, fine, whatever, but do u have to behave in such a childish manner? He also destroys peoples signs in their yard while he is on a run in his own neighborhood? WTF? That's not the only reason, tho, I am just not attracted to him like I thought I was. I think I was wanting to find/make a connection with someone so adamantly that I can warp and rationalize and perceive anyone who feigns the slightest interest in me as "the one". And that's not right. What I need to do is make a list for myself of the qualities I look for, the "deal breakers" and qualities that are absolutely "required".

So my question is this: How do I end this? I am over it. He's called on Sat and now he's emailed on Mon and I haven't returned his call or his email. Do I owe him an explanation? Or can I just pretend he doesn't exist anymore? What would he do given the situation was reversed? Probably he would just not call anymore and I would be left wondering WTF happened - like so many times before. C'mon we've all been there. We've all liked someone and then never heard from them again and we are left wondering what we did wrong, what's wrong with us or some other warped perception of reality, when really, the other person is just a coward and it is easier to ignore then to confront. That's my problem. I am non-confrontational when it comes to boys, but when it comes to anything else, I am very blunt and opinionated. How why? Any insight would be very helpful. That is if ANYONE reads this junk anyways. Last time I asked for advice - i recieved not one reply, so I don't expect to this time, but it would be nice.


Blogger Hindu said...

FYI: Men never grow up. I have met 60 year old men that still get drunk and pee in the neighbor’s bushes. The question about responding to his calls and emails would be, “Do you feel the need to contact him?” If you are completely comfortable with just letting it go and not giving him a reply or reason to the abrupt discontinuation of your relationship (whatever degree that may be), then don’t call. I don’t see a reason that you should create any disruption in your daily routine to accommodate him. He doesn’t sound like a very excepting or respectful person. I am sure the only thing getting in his way of realizing you will not be calling is his ego.

12:02 PM


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